Bill Murray catches bank robber in Tokyo?

If only! This story ran on Super Official News, a site similar to The Onion. Regardless, I feel like it's not out of the realm of something Bill would do. I'll repost the whole story below for your enjoyment:

Tokyo, Japan — A bank robber was apprehended today in Tokyo after stopping to talk with none other than Bill Murray. “The man robbed the Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi, ran out, saw Bill Murray walking on the street and stopped to talk to him. That’s when authorities were able to apprehend him,” Tokyo Police Chief Yakuza Mori told reporters. 

Bill Murray who is in Tokyo promoting a new movie told reporters about the incident. “I saw this man in the street running towards me with a bag in his hand. Then he suddenly stopped when he saw me. He asked me if I was Bob Harris, the character I played in Lost in Translation. I told him, ‘sure, why not’. Then he started telling me how much he loved me and how great he thought I was. I was polite, I told him that was very nice of him to say. Then kind of out of nowhere, police showed up and tackled the man,” Murray said. “Some people might call me a hero, but I’m no hero. The real heroes today are the men and women of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.” 

34-year-old American Paul Horner who is in Tokyo on business was at the bank when the robbery happened. “I was just standing behind this guy waiting for my turn. Then suddenly he starts waving around a knife demanding money I think, my Japanese is mediocre at best. So they fill this man’s bag with whatever was in one of the registers and then he runs out the door,” Horner said. “I’m not shaken up about the robbery at all, I’m pretty much a foot or two taller than all the people over here, so I thought it was kind of like a really cute bank robbery if that’s possible. What I am shaken up about is that Bill Murray was the one who stopped this guy and I didn’t get a chance to meet him.” Horner continued, “Bill Murray is my personal hero and today he was an actual hero for the city of Tokyo. What a cool guy.” 

“We love Bill Murray very much in our country, he is very funny man,” said Tomi Tanaka who is manager of the Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi. “Tomorrow, we are giving Mr. Murray an award with very big ceremony. It will be very excellent, everyone in Tokyo is invited.” 

The robber, who’s name has not been released yet, was apprehended and taken into police custody. On his person police found a knife and a bag filled with 4,550,00.00 Japanese Yen, or about 5,000 USD.